Starting Over in a New Safe Sex Relationship

Most people who have been in a relationship deal with the infamous ‘new relationship’ feeling which can be rather scary when you’ve spent so many months and some cases years with the same person. When you’re either broken up or divorced, starting over feels weird because when you were with the same person you had a routine, and then you’re dating someone new which means new interests and new routines. It also means that you have to think about and discuss contraceptive devices, safe sex and birth control.

Starting over is not easy for anyone especially if you’ve been with someone for months or years and it’s a slow process of healing from the last relationship. You want to give yourself time when entering a new relationship to get to know the person and the things that make he/she who they are. You also need to talk about contraceptive devices, safe sex and birth control before taking a step into the intimacy department. You can not assume that your new partner agrees with or will follow the same norms and safe sex habits that you exercised with your previous partner. You’re also in a vulnerable position in a new relationship, and as time goes by you start to find out things about yourself that you didn’t know about when you were with that last person.

First and foremost take your time in getting to know someone because love works in phases and you want to move through each without skipping a step. One of those all important steps is talking to your new relationship partner about contraceptive devices, safe sex and birth control. It’s important to find out how they feel about various contraceptive devices and methods of safe sex, and what types of contraceptive devices or birth control they prefer to use.

New relationships grow when each side allows themselves plenty of time to get to know the other person and not rushing into anything. It also grows when you take the time to talk about important issues like safe sex. The time that a relationship is new is between one and five months and that’s the make or break point when you start a new relationship. Usually if people aren’t careful they can lose someone in that time frame because you want to get to know someone from the inside out before you start becoming intimate. Sometimes, while unfortunate, that make or break conversation is the one that you need to have about contraceptive devices, safe sex and birth control.

In this day and age the mentality is that you should start sleeping with the person to see if they’re worth dating. That’s the biggest mistake in a new relationship because you haven’t had the time to discuss openly subjects like safe sex and birth control. This mentality also introduces sex way too early in the relationship from when you began dating. You can easily have your judgment clouded when you’re trying to get to know someone and trying to find the appropriate time to talk about contraception and safe sex. This can cause stress and confusion when you’re trying to get to know someone better and getting physical with them before you talk about safe sex can really do damage to new relationships.

It’s ideal to wait on sex until you’ve gotten to know the person pretty well to be able to take things to that next level. You should take the time first to talk about contraceptive devices with your new partner. Too many people rush to the sexual part of a new relationship before it’s had a chance to really take off. By the time they see the actual picture, they’re back to square one in getting to know someone all over again. Counselors who work with people with relationship issues have advised that they should give some time between relationships to work on themselves before making that transition back into dating or remarrying.

Giving time between a past and a new relationship helps you to work through issues you don’t want to bring to the new relationship. This is also a time where the other person in the relationship looks at your comfort zone and sees if you’ve gotten over the other person and if you’re still having those lingering feelings. Being capable of talking about contraceptive devices, safe sex and birth control in an adult fashion is an important step in any relationship – so be sure that you have the maturity and the capability of talking about important issues before you take the next step in your relationship. If you are not ready to talk about safe sex, or feel uncomfortable, you might not ready to take that far of a step back into the dating arena.